Oh, Lillian, look what you've done.

Yeah, let's cut through the "I haven't posted in so long" bull.
No one reads my blog.
For which I am thankful, actually.
Well, thankful that no one I know or have to deal with on a regular basis reads it.

Right, anyway, I was trying to sleep just now as it is WAY past my bed time.
I started Cow Pi High this week.
I am not even going to talk (write) about it.

There was a lot of crap running through my head keeping me up and we can all guess how much I like being kept up when I am dead tired and want nothing more than to go to sleep and possibly not wake up =P

If I get some of it out maybe I can go the hell to sleep.

First: Let me just make it clear that I am not a motivated individual.
BEFORE I FINISH THAT THOUGHT: let me just say that crickets are either really ridiculously loud or there's one in my room.
Let me also point out that I am scared shitless of all bugs.
Crickets, especially, tend to freak me the fuck out.
Soooo....
hold that thought.


shit
shit
shit
I'm pretty sure it's in my room.
Ew. alskdjal;kdj (this is where I start whining and practically crying. Shut the fuck up. I don't like bugs, okay?)
Jesus freaking Christ its in my room. It was crawling on my viola.
It's okay... it's relatively small... I can run if it comes near me.
Awesome. I'm such a fugging pansy.

Right, where was I?
Um, yeah, not motivated. I am not determined.
There are few times when something actually matters enough to me for me to try my hardest to get it.
I'm probably lying about that, but for right now, this very second, this is what I can remember.
I really needed to gtfoo (get the fuck out of) Cow Pi High.
So I did.
After that? I had deadlines and people who sometimes (once.. or twice..) told me to work on my school stuff. I didn't. I am now a sophomore in high school. Again.
Does this bother me?
No, not really.
Honestly.
I need to work a little harder-- no, not really. I just need to go to summer school to make up whatever credits I need to be a senior next year.
I don't regret not doing anything.
I mean, it was dumb, whatever. I learned a lot. Not academically, clearly, but in terms of family dynamics and blah blah blah. I learned all sorts of shit about myself.
I got to go do all sorts of amazing things! I saw DEPECHE MODE. LIVE. AT LOLLAPALOOZA.
I mean, I would say overall, things worked out pretty nicely considering I did nothing for months.
(Side note: yes, I have aken responsibility for my actions, I am now paying for them at Cow Pi High, my entire family is completely convinced that I am something of a failure at life and that I "might not make it", and did I mention, I'm a sophomore again? Yeah, I didn't say the situation was a WIN... but it could've been worse)

The point of all of that, is that at this moment I am FIERCELY determined to convince my mother into letting us younger two go on this trip.
I don't know how much I'm going to say about this trip..
Suffice it to say, it's a family trip, it's a huge deal, it's a once in a life time event.
And um, I'm not planning on missing out on that.
Let's see... sit around at home with my little sister and the crazy one incapable of taking care of herself some days while having to go to cow pi high Monday through Friday for three weeks... Or go on this trip that, yes, will probably NOT be my cup of tea and yes, I don't DESERVE (thanks, Soul Crusher!), where I'll be stuck with the Soul Crusher, not to mention, stuck with constant nagging by a certain someone to drop my life and come live with them because yadda yadda bullshit...
Actually, neither of these sounds appealing.
At all..
BUT, faced with the choice, I'd pick the three week vacation.
Also, Koshary.
That's all I'm gonna say.

SO, Now that everyone else has given their best, whatever that might have been, I'm going to come in and pull out all of the stops.
Whining, yelling, arguing, guilt, LOGIC (see, that's one that she's lacking, but probably wont work on her ANYWAY...), threats, promises, tears?
Who knows.
I can argue with the best of them.
I made one hell of a debater (if I do say so myself... this is something of a stretch, actually.. considering I hardly COMPETED... Forensics? Pfffft.).
I was basically born to be a lawyer. At least, I've been told my entire life that I should be one.
But that's a different story.

Not to mention, I've been praying about this pretty ridiculously.
So, at this point, once I've given it my ALL; every last thing I've got (because if I lose, then I lose... so I might as well sacrifice EVERYTHING, right?), and it doesn't work out?
So be it.
Whatever will (or wont) be will (or wont) be.
C'est la vie.
Right?
Right.
Right...?

Oy.

Sooo, that's pretty much all I've got.
I have a feeling most of that was gibberish anyway... I mean, it is 2am.
God damnit.
I want to be asleep now.
NOW.
the end.
:D

I don't mind, I don't mind if you forget me. Having learned my lesson, I've never left and impression on anyone.

Sincerely I must tell you, your "my best wishes," they make me suspicious.
HPPY BIRTHDAY MOZZER!!!
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
49... oh boy.
It's okay, 49 never looked so good on anyone =]

Forget the song, I'm too damn pissed off.

First of all, whatthefuck.
I mean, REALLY?
ARE YOU REALLY THAT BIG OF AN ASSHOLE?!
ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SO CONSUMED WITH YOUR RIDICULOUSNESS YOU CANT EVEN LOOK UP AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU??!?!?
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
SECOND, NOTHING is going on this weekend. NOTHING. You are just a schmuck and don't want to tell me that you're tired of being right next door when my friends come over and you're trying to sleep.
YOU COULD ACT LIKE A NORMAL FUNCTIONING HUMAN FOR TEN ASKLDJAASKDJING SECONDS AND JUST SAY SO.
NOT EVERYTHING YOU SPEW NEEDS TO BE HORSE-SHIT.
I hate you with a passion so fierce, you will never understand it.
I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE DEPTHS OF MY HATRED FOR YOU!
AND YES, you really did piss me off far enough that I decided to BLOG about it.
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME?!
JESUSFREAKINGCHRIST.
I sincerely hope you stub all of the toes on your left foot and have to hobble around for weeks. And then maybe I can piss you off enough to the point where you attempt to chase me and stub all of the toes on your RIGHT foot too, asshole.
You are a piece of work, you know that?

Third, I know I haven't updated in a while..
tough.

It's not your birthday anymore. There's no need to be kind to you

I know that everyone and their mom already knows this, but I love Morrissey.
I really, truly do.
And no one really seems to get that.
HOWEVER, this is not the time nor the place.
I only popped in because I'm procrastinating once again...
I'm finishing an American History test. Only not. I have four extended analysis questions that I'm supposed to be answering. You would think that this crap would be easier to find in the book, but no, it's not.
So, google, here I come.
ANYWAY, no, this doesn't count as double postage. The other post was actually from a few days ago I just expanded a little and posted.
I am at Hareth's house today. He and Hilary are both at work and I kinda feel like a creeper being in their house... YEAH, so, I know he's going to read this. So maybe I should have some work done before he gets home..
=]
ALSO, I keep accidentally hitting buttons on the freaking keyboard. Which is getting on my nerves.
More later.. hopefully..
I need to talk about Morrissey :D :D :D :D

Also, I should probably talk about other things. =P
Who gives a damn if I have ONE reader? =]
Okay, I do, but whatever. I'm 16 no one listens to me anyway. I should be used to it by now :D

What's the point of life if Risk is just a board game?

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Seriously. It's almost 60 effing degrees outside. What the hell is that about? ANYWAYYYY... I am excited about mah Saturday night :D
I can't say why though.

Okay, really? Who the hell bothers reading this? I mean, I know Hareth will pop on in and skim whatever I spew because he's Hareth and he doesn't even have to think about it, thanks to his skillz. He'll be like, SSHing some crap ("I'm trying to make it purple!" I mean, really, what else is there to do at this point, dude? hahaha)and his computer will be like, "BING! Your sister just posted all of this crap on her blog! Feel free to skim... keep skimming.. okay! Done!" And he'll go back to purplizing. Yes, purplizing.
Um, anyway..
I dropped out of school.. for those of you who were wondering.
Cow Pie High was not conducive to my rapidly deteriorating state of mental health.
So I homeschool myself now. Yeah. I didn't think I wasn't socially retarded enough to begin with. I took care of that though. Now I spend all of my time at home! With my mom!
Who actually tells me she thinks I'm cool. Which is really unsettling.
But no, I don't sit at home all day.
I go to work with K sometimes and sit in the office while he does his grease monkey thing. Today, however, was entirely unproductive. I went to bed at 12:30, didn't fall asleep until 4. You know that feeling when your eyelids are like lead and you can't move and you're just dead? But you can't actually fall asleep? And you lay there (lie there?) WAITING until you're unconscious but it doesn't happen. You'
re just a vegetable.
Well I experienced that wonderful little miracle for HOURS last night! hooray!
No.
So, I sat around and did a lot of nothing.. I don't even know how I pissed an entire day away... Yeah.
Ummmmmmmmm... more at some point or another.. I think..

She's an extraordinary girl, in an ordinary world

Today is my birthday.
Happy birthday me.
It kind of sucked.
Um, actually, it was one of the most useless, unnecessary, boring, wasted days of my life.
Happy birthday, STG.

I don't want to be tied to anyone's strings I'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things.

What the flaming torpedo fire-crotches is WRONG with these people?
Today, "these people" = High school kids.
Seriously.
No, you know what? I'm going all out today. What the freaking hell is wrong with HIGH SCHOOL in general?
I have never felt older in my entire life. If this is SERIOUSLY how kids my age act all over the world.. God help us all.
Yesterday, a girl who went to my school got in a car accident and died. Actually, maybe she got in the accident on FRIDAY and passed yesterday..
I don't know.
All I know, is that SUCKS. That really and truly sucks. I don't even know the girl, but that is tragically unfortunate and I can't imagine what her parents must be going through.
BUT OH MY EVER LOVING GRAVY. Some of the things I heard today make me sick.
This ridiculous bit..I mean, ass hole.. (:D) sits behind me in geometry and every freaking class she sits there and attacks this other girl. Now, we'll call the ass hole A, and the girl with the questionable morals B.
So, B might not have the most accurate moral compass, fine. But was it YOUR EX (yes, EX you nimrod, if you thought he was still going out with you after you had been on a "break" for TWO MONTHS, you should just go live in a cave somewhere)that she kissed at a party? No. So quit whinging and cheer the flying flip up. ALSO, TRY SHUTTING UP. I don't care what she did. I don't care what YOU think about it. I don't care how YOU feel about her. So, do me and her, and EVERYONE else a favor, and stop letting her know that you think she's a dirty whore!
ALSO, Because you SERIOUSLY said "I'm a truth sharer not a gossiper"
You should just go stub all the toes on your left foot and then fall in a ditch and die.
As if your being the biggest loser ever wasn't bad enough, you seriously had the nerve to sit there and start talking about the dead girl. REALLY? are you REALLY serious?
I'm not using actual names to be respectful of privacy. Just kidding, I don't know any of you well enough to even know your names. Jeez.
"Yeah, {insert generic white girl's name) came up to me and was like, 'I just want you to know that I NEVER said anything bad about this girl. I never even talked about her. But you told her that I was always talkin' smack about her and it always tore her up.' And I just laughed because, I mean, whatever, you know? And like, that was so not the time or place, y'know?"
So, it gets worse.
"Yeah, they're finding out tomorrow. All I know is that if I don't get anything I'm going to be pissed."

She then goes on to talk about Hookah bars and the deceased girls boyfriend and his mourning time.
Are you ferfrikkinserious?

So, what'd I learn in Geometry today?
Dead girl had an attitude problem and Hookah bars in Manassas don't check ID's because they want more business.

In History today, I discovered that my history teacher texts people with confiscated cell phones.
If you get you phone taken away and someone texts you, he will read it, and he will text them back!
HOW IN GODS NAME IS THAT OKAY?!
I mean, it's not like he keeps it a secret, either. He totally thinks its hilarious. And so does everyone else apparently. Including the rejects whose phones are taken away!
WHAT IS THIS?!
IF I had a cell phone and IF I was stupid enough to get it taken away and IF my teacher started texting people we would have problems.

Oh Jeebus. Today was unnecessary. Tomorrow will be worse.
And it's my freaking birthday.
FREAKING AY.

http://montreal.en.craigslist.ca/mis/987858385.html
the end